The Babadook

FUCK YEAH.

HERE WE GO.

If you have not yet seen The Babadook, put down your goddamn blogs and get out your Netflixes because you have some shit to see. If you’ve seen it and you didn’t like it, get the hell out because you are objectively wrong. If you’ve seen it and you loved it, FUCK YEAH READ ON BITCHES.

This film scratches all my horror itches. It’s got a small and incredibly talented cast. It’s got a slow build, but isn’t boring. It’s got action, but not so much that you lose suspense. It’s got fucking BEAUTIFUL artwork and a fairy tale feel. It makes viewers understand why I never want children. And everyone in it has a sexy accent.

Filmed in Australia, the film stars Essie Davis (SWOON SHE IS GREAT) as Amelia, a young and still grieving widow with the shittiest 6 year-old imaginable. Even if you like kids as a general rule, you will want to sell this one for black market organs. He has a vivid imagination and believes himself to be surrounded by monsters, causing him to build some fairly creative weaponry with which he destroys the house and endangers his mother, the dog, and classmates, leading to him being pulled out of school for being a whiny little psychopath.

One night the shitty kid wants a goddamn book read to him but NOT THAT ONE I WANT A DIFFERENT ONE BECAUSE I AM A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT so he hands Amelia a new book called Mister Babadook which neither of them have seen before.

Please note: this book is GORGEOUS. They even made a 600 copy limited run of them for sale in actual real life, but I missed out because B is apparently too far down the alphabet for me to get to it in time. Look up the book if nothing else, though. It’s illustrated by Alex Juhadsz and I would happily put every single page up on my wall, which is another reason I should never have children.

Anyway, the book turns out to be a very dark pop-up book about a strange monster named the Babadook who watches you while you sleep and torments you until he can take over your body. Obviously this upsets the shitty child and makes him shittier than ever, acting out even more and blaming everything, from strange occurrences around the house to pushing his cousin out of a treehouse, on the Babadook. Eventually Amelia can’t take it anymore and she destroys the book and takes the kid to the doctor to put him on some sort of muscle relaxants or something just to get him to shut the hell up and go to sleep.

And it is then that Mister Babadook returns….

…AND I CAN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE HOLY CRAP FUCKING WATCH IT THIS THING GOT A 98% ON ROTTON TOMATOES.

Even if you’re not partial to horror movies, The Babadook is incredibly affecting and enjoyable. It’s scary, and it will stay with you, but mostly because of how freaking good it is rather than because you are traumatized and see Babadooks everywhere. It doesn’t rely on gore or jump scares to create a sense of dread, and the unflinching look at how goddamn hard and shitty both grief and motherhood can be is refreshing in this genre. The Babadook itself is brought to life by dark and jerky stop-motion and the sound design of his movements is incredible. Every aspect of this film was thoughtfully and exquisitely designed and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

And, as a final note, this is the first time I have ever seen an adult hide from something by diving under the covers in a horror movie. This pleases me greatly, because this is EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO. When I am alone in the dark in bed and I am dead sure there is a serial killer coming to get me, I freeze, sneak under the covers, and pretend to be asleep, because as long as every part of my body is covered in blankets, the serial killer cannot get me. And if I let my feet extend from the bottom of the bed, I know for a fact that a monster hand would come up and grab them unless they are completely wrapped in blankets, as blankets are monster kryptonite. I am so sick of seeing people in horror movies hear something odd and go investigate, when YOU KNOW that if you’re in bed half-asleep and you hear something creepy or see something out of the corner of your eye, your only real instinct is to be in bed harder. 

All told…….FIVE FUCKING HORRORS.

ALL OF THEM.

A FIVEGASM OF HORRORS.

I don’t even care what movie is next, this blog has done the sweet sweet horror lord’s work if it gets one single person to watch this film. I’m going to have some wine and ice cream and see if I can’t get my hands on that book somehow….

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SPLOOSH.
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The Babadook

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