Bloody Judge

Hooooly shit you guys I am running out of steam on these 60s and 70s movies with “blood” in the title. I barely even remember this one and it stars Christopher Lee. That’s how much I can’t not sleep through 60s and 70s movies with “blood” in the title at this point. Oof.

Let’s get this over with.

Bloody Judge is a 1970 film by Jesus Franco who is known for his exploitation horror flicks filled with sex and gore at a time when “exploitation” was an actual genre. Christopher Lee stars as real historical figure Lord Chancellor Judge Jeffries, a judge presiding over cases of witchcraft who has the accused women tortured for his own sexual gratification in order to elicit a confession. When he’s not busy torturing women before sending them off to go get executed, he’s busy feeling sort of bad about it but not bad enough to stop doing it because God and shit. Awesome job, GOD. Fucking 1700 England, amirite?

Of course Straight White Male With A Complex Regarding Sexuality never actually sees or participates in an execution until the very end when he happens to catch one out his window and promptly dies of a heart attack upon realizing how shitty he has been this whole time. It’s almost like people in positions of power just shouldn’t be dickwads but whatever that’s just me.


I mean, I wish this heart-attack-upon-discovering-what-empathy-is thing would really happen, but I think the existence of 2016 has proven that impossible. Apart from that….ugh. I neither remember nor care much about this movie. Maybe I’m just so super over this whole segment of the genre. I can’t give any more shits about blood-soaked titties from 1970. I just can’t. Not even when you wrap it in historical drama and Christopher Lee’s deep velvety sex voice.

I give this movie……WHO CARES HORRORS.

Holy shit I forgot how many of these were in the B section.

I’m just waiting for the end of this letter so I can review Burke and Hare which is EVERYTHING THE SEVENTIES SHOULD BE and then I’m going to drink a truckload of wine and burn my computer so I can move on with my life.

To the letter C, I mean.

C is a very important letter.


Bloody Judge

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