Dabbe 6

Alright so I took two days off because I was doing an online convention and also because Chucky fucking exhausted me. BUT NOW I’M BACK and so is Dabbe 6, which was TWO HOURS AND THIRTY-THREE MINUTES LONG.

GUYS.

THAT IS SO MUCH MOVIE FOR WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH.

I actually liked this movie, for the first hour and a half, but eventually it just turned into me checking the time every ten minutes and wondering why they couldn’t have JUST CUT THIS SCENE WE DON’T NEED THIS I JUST WANT SOME DEMON MURDERS CAN WE PLEASE GET THIS DONE THANKS. If I have any readers from Turkey, is this just how movies are for you guys??? Are they all over two hours long??? Do you just have a better attention span than my dumb American brain can handle??? Or is this entire series just kinda indulgent and slow and adds irrelevant twists and turns for no reason?

I’m also learning the patterns for the Dabbe series specifically. For example, the husband is always having an affair. It’s always the lady in the family that gets possessed. Everyone in the house has lots of demonic nightmares that look really cool but also we have about four times as many nightmares as is necessary. A specialist is called in around the halfway point. The specialist will come with cameras and the movie will become found footage from that point on, to varying degrees of success. Demon fucks around for a while and in the last 20 minutes we have a twist that invalidates the entire rest of the movie. Dabbe, ladies and gentlemen.

The actors were all great. The basic plot was good. The effects were cool and creepy and dreamlike and the scares are good. But jesus gang, two and a half hours to tell the SIXTH story in the series??? I could have literally watched two Chucky movies in that time and them shits don’t waste ANY TIME getting to my precious murders. Hire an editor, please.

….THREE HORRORS AGAIN, IT COULD BE MORE BUT YOU PUT AT LEAST 45 MINUTES OF NONSENSE IN THERE AND THAT SHIT COSTS YOU.

Hoo boy, can’t wait for ANOTHER DABBE MOVIE NEXT.

two and a half hours and they didn’t dab ONCE
Dabbe 6

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