First of all, the stunt coordinator of this movie is named Dick Warlock.
CHILD’S PLAY 2. I was expecting a dumb, soulless sequel to a soon-to-be-giant franchise film because that’s what happens 75% of the time in literally every franchise ever, especially when this franchise is, again, about a serial-killing Cabbage Patch Kid. Like of course the next film is going to be accidentally funny at best.
I was not expecting an indictment of the foster care system caused by the PR team of a giant corporation ending in a Cronenburgien nightmare of Chucky parts drenched in Chucky goo desperately attempting to wield a knife inserted into the still-bleeding stump where his right hand once was until he SLOWLY TORE IT OFF HIMSELF.
WHAT THE FUCK, SECOND CHUCKY.
THERE WAS LITERALLY NOT ONE DICK JOKE IN. THIS. FILM.
So we start off in an uncomfortably real continuation of the events of the original film. The cops who witnessed Chucky come to life decided not to say anything and risk their careers, so Andy’s mother ends up in a psych ward never to be seen again (couldn’t get Catherine Hicks from 7th Heaven back, huh?). Andy himself is thrown into the foster care system where he goes to a couple who take in the “problem cases,” the husband of which played the Q who went to space court over his own immortality in Star Trek: Voyager.
But before we actually get to ANY of that, we’re at Play Pals Corp., the company that manufactures and sells the Good Guys dolls, of whom approximately 2% are programmed to be named “Chucky,” which is a for real thing in the movies because just having a doll named “Chucky” and a movie named “Chucky” and a sequel named “Chucky 2” wouldn’t be fucking convoluted enough. You know how annoying it is to google you when I have to actively *remember* your shit is called “Child’s Play”? Anyway, Play Pals is, of course, more concerned with public relations than public safety, so rather than, say, check the rest of the dolls to make sure there aren’t more serial killers (which they wouldn’t be, but still, that’s like a REASONABLE first step) they somehow obtain the original Chucky doll from what I ASSUME WAS THE POLICE EVIDENCE LOCKER and scrape off all the burned bits, replace his SKIN AND LIMBS, and restore the Chucky doll after checking his insides and determining that they did not see the soul of a multiple murderer (we’ll get there) with the intent of testing it and proving that their dolls are perfectly safe and totally normal dolls. Of course some *~magic~* happens when they put in the eyes and Chucky is brought back to life yadda yadda murder.
Which means that this ENTIRE MOVIE we get to watch a traumatized child, ripped from his mother and forced into the foster care system, blame everything around him on “Chucky” which WE know to be true but which all the adults around him believe to be the sign of a pathologically-lying orphan who is maybe responsible for murder. And that goes on until Chucky kills the husband of the couple and we get to watch the wife fall to her knees and scream and sob and stare at Andy, who she assumes is a sociopathic murder child that she brought into her own home and JESUS CHUCKY 2 if you pretend for a single second that that doll isn’t a living monster committing all these murders this movie is fucking SAD AS HELL FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE.
I mean, then Brad Dourif immediately yells about bitches or whatever and none of the rest of that matters but what the fuck.
And, briefly because I DO NOT want to be someone who wrote 1000 words on Child’s Play 2, I need to bring up both how great and how HORRIFYING setting the finale of the film in the Chucky factory was. Walls of Chuckies in their Chucky boxes. Chucky assembly lines with Chucky parts on Chucky Part Conveyers, vats of Chucky goo, and, inexplicably, a Chucky Destroyer that maybe was just the part that put the Chucky limbs on the Chucky torsos, but somehow if a Chucky got sent through twice it emerged as a FUCKING CHUCKIPEDE IN A PILE OF BURNING MELTED GOO AND RUBBER ARMS.
Which, I mean, jesus, I can’t even get into all that.
This absolutely has to be the most upsetting film in the franchise. Every other movie he’s just a rude stabby baby and in this one he turns into the thing from The Thing and writhes in a pile of his own liquid skin as two now homeless foster children watch him choke on his own goo and EXPLODE.
I………HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY HORRORS THIS GETS, WHAT IS THIS MOVIE